Taking Stock, Considering Lessons,
Gaining Wisdom, and Setting Intentions:
*Contributed by Laina Giselle
Interrogating the concept of New Year’s resolutions is, in my opinion, a worthy endeavor. Often unfulfilled due to the unreasonable loftiness from the outset, we’re left with a sense of shame at what we perceive to be yet another failure of our own willpower and fortitude. Wondering if we really are made up of a potential that is yet to be realized. For myself, I like to spend some time reflecting on the year that has just passed, accounting for gains and losses, time and efforts well placed and others that didn’t yield much beyond a hard lesson not to repeat. We can consider all the ways in which we’ve grown, and from this glean what truths we need to face and take forward into the new year. It’s from this exploration, in dialogue with ourselves or with dear ones, that we can discover what intentions our higher self wants to set as we move forth into the next season; while giving ourselves grace and permission to completely muck it up. In this era of my life, I’m trying to live audaciously with attention to process and not just outcome. 
For much of my life, my main sources of motivation included shame, obligation and perfectionism. Admittedly, these are still default settings that are deeply hardwired and I frequently find myself slipping back into old patterns; it’s in the knowing of this that I’ve put a substantial amount of effort into trying to develop different feedback loops and one that I’ve uncovered for myself is actually quite simple: joy. 
And jiujitsu brings me sheer joy.
I show up because I love to be there, yet I try (*try*) not to shame myself on the days my body and mind simply need rest. Rather than obligation, I feel a healthy sense of accountability to the camaraderie and love within our community and for my training partners, to be there for each other’s growth, to create space and opportunities for each other. And to play! For myself, there is no longer an aim for perfection, just progress and playfulness. I can honestly say that the exuberant, silly child jiujitsu awakens in me carries forth into other domains of my life and I’m the better for it. Allowing for, laughing at and with the mistakes and losses that come, and truly sinking into how much fun (no fancy words, just FUN) I’m having when doing jiujitsu elevates my whole self.
I often can struggle to articulate the deeper way it’s impacted me. I was 34 years old when I started training, I’d already formed into my adulthood – I had traveled widely, had a career, a family, multiple hobbies and passions. Yet, I know I’m a better mother, friend, therapist, dancer, adventurer, and dreamer because of jiujitsu. Even in my darker moments, in my wallowing times and in grief, I find the tools I need to ease out of that space have been sharpened by my time on the mats.
And so, as I reflect on this last year, one of the things that stands out for me personally, has been the establishment of the Women’s Class. A year ago, it was a whisper of a thing, a hope some of us held with enough intention to make it a goal. It started with just a few of us meeting JoePa (enough praises cannot be sung for his championing of this) on Saturday mornings to get some extra training in. Over time, and with the unconditional support and commitment from Coach Mike, we’ve been able to grow it into an official weekly class, women’s open rolling beforehand most weeks, and we even hosted our first public Women’s Open Mat. We’ve had our ups and downs in the development, but it’s always been so worthwhile. And while I don’t want to speak for everyone, for me at least, it’s also an incredibly joyful space – how could it not be, between dancing warmups and group hug toe cuddles?
I realize not everyone will feel the same about the importance of having women’s only spaces in a male-dominated sport, but for me this has been such an important addition to what was already an incredibly inclusive EGA culture. I’ve only been with the gym about 18 months, so most of you only know Laina 4.0 and may not believe this… but I don’t know if I would have started jiujitsu had it not been for my previous gym’s women’s only class. Many of the women we train with had mostly male spaces as their entry point, and I applaud and am in awe of that. It was not my story. I only trained once a week for the first few months, at the women’s only class, before I got up the moxy – and felt safe enough – to attend a co-ed class. As I’m sure you’ve all gleaned, now I couldn’t imagine my life without it. And while I’m completely fine to stand up front in a room of 20+ men, as both a training partner and a coach, I’ll admit a little part of me still breathes a sigh of relief when I see even just one other woman walk through the door. I’m so grateful we can offer the Women’s Class to anyone seeking it, and it’s definitely one of my major jiujitsu highlights for 2023. We’ve learned a lot along the way about structure, knowledge-sharing, and collective building and we are taking those lessons forward into 2024 with the hopes of growing it further. Our first women’s class of the year will be January 6th and taught by Kayla in the gi, for any women keen to check it out. You can take a look at the full schedule HERE!
This past year, the gym has celebrated so much joy; competition wins, babies born, returning members, belt promotions… and the less public but important moments in each person’s journey, like the first time one lands a move on that training partner they’ve been ‘chasing’. We’ve also supported each other through losses on and off the mats, understanding that the bonds we’ve created don’t just break once we walk up those stairs.
As we move into 2024, let’s give ourselves a moment to take stock of all of this – not just within jiu jitsu, but across all the facets of our lives – and consider what lessons we have learned, what wisdom we are moving forward with, and how this informs the intentions we set for next year. And if you are into resolutions or have simply promised yourself to do Dry January or a Big Booty Challenge, (I’m doing one of those and I’ll let you all guess which), go at it with gusto, fervor and permission to not do it perfectly, without shame or guilt. Mistakes will be made; accept this and move forward. Seek your joy. Decide what your own potential is and realize it.